What Happened?

I haven’t updated my blog for a couple weeks because there hasn’t been anything noteworthy to write about. Mostly, because I haven’t been running and I am feeling shame about it. It started out because I was busy one night after work that I had planned on going to the gym. Then I started feeling a little run-down. So, I allowed myself to skip out again. I didn’t say anything to anyone, hoping that no one would notice, or start asking me how the running was going. I had very good intentions of picking it back up that weekend but, well . . . I don’t think I have to say.

Now this week I have been very sick, which is my best excuse yet for not running. Although I heard somewhere that you should run (or exercise) when you are sick and that will help you get it out of your system faster. I just can’t muster the energy for that. I’m feeling weak and unmotivated. I spent all weekend in bed reading Sookie Stackhouse books and watching stuff on Netflix. While that was much needed (since I decided I couldn’t use any of my sick time while I was really sick during the week since I had so many pressing things to do at the office), I just wanted my life to be back to normal. Kind of like one of the many fictional lives that I’ve peered into this weekend. It would be great if I could cheerfully go to work, do my job, come home and cook a great dinner in a clean kitchen (without yelling at my child), have time to work out, have a social life and always have something cute to wear in my closet. Is that too much to ask?

Can I make myself go running tomorrow, and then make myself go running the day after that and will I feel like that will make a difference? Because that is the real issue – I need to feel like I am getting somewhere. I am lacking motivation and direction. I need to get back into it and stop being so defeatist about my lapse. Oh, what a whiner. I always get a pretty dismal view of life when I am sick. Hope next week is better!